Stunning

Quoth some douchebag, in the midst of an argument in which said douchebag actually argues that women are "immature" for preferring gynecological care from a female. Let's not even go into the absolute ridiculousness of any man telling women absolutely anything about their gynecological choices. Check this shit out, bolding of sheer insanity mine:

"What really gets me is the idea of 'male privilege.' Prior to industrialization, most men were farmers, fishermen, and at best shop-workers. I do not see how privilege fits into that in any way. THOSE MEN HAD NO POWER . . . I am not saying that large numbers of women were not oppressed in the private sphere, but that those forms of oppression were, in some way, equivalent to those of men. No one had power. And frankly, thank God (?) that MEN created the bicycle, vacuum cleaner, washing machine, and so on that reduced the economic value of "women's work", allowing women to pursue other activities . . . What I am saying contradicts a standard feminist narrative -- that men were also oppressed, if less oppressed than women; that men worked very hard and risked their lives to provide for their wives and families; and that it was men's hard work and science that provided the economic conditions for women's liberation. . . What gets me is that I AM a feminist! First-wave feminism -- no question (LOL!). Second-wave (right to work, culturally equal treatment) -- sure. Third-wave (respecting distinctively feminine characteristics) -- I couldn't imagine a world without women, without their charms, without their caring and emotional approach to things (forgive the stereotype)."

WOW.

Ladies, I think we should take a moment to thank this fellow, and all men really, for creating the vacuum cleaner. Because without a vacuum cleaner, how would we have ever had the time to hobble together a liberation movement? I mean there would have been WAY too much cleaning to get done for us to pencil it in. And like, you know, even though sometimes it seems like men hate you, really they're feminists! Why, they couldn't imagine living without your "charms!" Sisters, let's go ahead and give some credit where it's due.

The Mean Feminists LIVE!!!

So Vicky and I haven't posted in a looooong time, but we are STILL around. Unequivocally, this absence has been my fault. Some weirdness in Blogger didn't let Vicky post, and I've been too lazy to fix it -- I'm pretty sure it works now.

It's not that I didn't have anything to contribute here. It's more like I had so much, I didn't know where to begin.

Some changes will probably be implemented here. We might move, possibly. We obviously need to clean up our links and all of that, so it might be a good idea to reintroduce ourselves on a brand-new site. Obviously, a link will be provided!

For those of you that still check here periodically, my sincerest apologies. Many of you have moved on, I don't doubt. Many feminist blogs have died in the past year or so, which follows, since most of our blogs started around the same time. The natural cycle, and such.

Since we have not been active, I've been somewhat surprised about the fact that our posts still generate a good deal of comments. However, not many of our comments lately have been positive and are clearly coming from non-feminist sources. Since we allow anyone to comment, there have been a lot of pretty awful comments. This, in turn, hasn't motivated me to return here.

Although I originally instituted to open comment policy because I was trying to differentiate our blog from typical "safe space" feminist blogs, I may reconsider this.

So, hello! I'm glad to be back, and hopefully we can get this place running again.

why do nuns shave?

Last night, hanging out with my fellow Jews for Shabbat, I met a woman is Jewish and has a (religious, practicing) Catholic father. Since I go to a Catholic university, I pretty much pounced on her and asked her a half dozen questions about Catholicism I've always wanted to know, but can't really ask the Catholics at my college because contrary to what some might think, I may be mean, but I'm not an asshole.

One of my big questions concerned nuns, specifically the nuns at my university. I asked this woman, "Why do nuns shave?"

The response? "WELL! Just because they're nuns doesn't mean they aren't HYGIENIC! I mean, they don't do things that are UNHEALTHY!"

I think something inside my brain broke. Then again, there's no logic in the patriarchy, or its religions.

Gettin' Myself a J-O-B

Since I was little I have always dreamed of becoming some kind of feminist action hero, part Susan B. Anthony, part Hothead Paisan. This should be a simple enough dream for a girl to have. I'm young, idealistic, and passionate as hell! Here, I am, ready to dedicate my entire life to feminism!

However, as our regular readers may already know, I live in Salt Lake City and there are a lot of things I love about it. The traffic is very manageable, housing and food is affordable, the weather is great, the mountains are beautiful, and there is plenty of culture downtown to keep me busy and involved when I have the energy. Unfortunately, we have a somewhat less than healthy non-profit community, especially when it comes to organizations dedicated to helping women. Currently I am working as an AmeriCorps volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters, but my gig will end at the beginning of May and I am contemplating moving to San Francisco or New York City in the hopes of finding a job completely focused on serving and empowering women.

I do know a few people in both of these cities and in my internet searches the amount of feminist-based non-profits are overwhelming. Still, I'm a little nervous about being able to find the perfect badass feminist job (JOB not internship) that I dream of. I am hopeful that my work with AmeriCorps and two internships that I've done with Planned Parenthood Action Council and Feminist Majority will make me stand out a little from the rest of the entry-level crowd, but if you, dear sweet reader, have any wise words to drop before me like the tiniest of crumbs before ravenous birds, I will bathe you in the eternal nuclear orange glow that is my affection. In other words, if you have tips about the non-profit industry, living in either of the above mentioned cities, certain feminist organizations I should or should not look into, feedback on different types of entry-level positions, or if you know someone who knows someone who will give me a freakin' job/advice, the feminist Goddess shall bless thee. Cheers!

Tips for Well-Intentioned White Liberals "Concerned" About Racism

So, since Martin Luther King Jr. Day was yesterday the topic of race has been coming up a lot in daily conversation with the middle class white liberals which make up the majority of people I interact with on a daily basis. Unfortunately, talking to white liberals about race is just about as fun as trying to juggle in a bee suit by the side of a busy street while wearing a giant yellow sign that says "SALE!" Silly and idealistic as I am, when I am talking to well-meaning people I usually try to give them the benefit of the doubt. You would think that I would stop doing this after a while, but no, the fire of my personal dream that people are not actually as ig'nant as they seem continues to soldier on. Anyway, this has been done before in other quarters, but I figured another little guide can't hurt.

1) Don't act as though racism is something Other BAAAAD people do. Guess what? YOU do it too! YES YOU! You've won the glamrous prize known as racist socialization, an all expense paid trip to a land where ignoring white privilege isn't just once in a while, it's a way of life! And what's more, all your friends get to come too! Why, it's as though racism is an all-pervasive part of our culture that we ALL have internalized and we ALL deal with on a daily basis although some of us are racist enough as to not even realize it! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!

2) Don't get defensive. As noted in the above tip, YOU are racist. The first step to healing is acknowledging that you've got a problem. Repeat after me, "Hi my name is __________ and I am a racist." Don't you feel better now? If you really want to get advanced, start listening to people who call you out on racist actions and thought patterns. Listening means, you stop. Your mouth ceases to move. You pause, like the gentle crane before the refreshing oasis, waiting to drink in the delicious icy cold beverage we call insight. THEN respond to what the other person has said.

3) You are not Mr. T. It is not your job to "save" or "protect" people of color from the vicious scourge that is racism and believe me, nobody is expecting you to do that. Most people of color have been dealing with that particular villain for their entire lives. Chances are, they've probably learned a thing or two about how to handle themselves when racism rears its ugly head. Start with changing your own attitudes and behaviors. Then progress to confronting others when you recognize attitudes and behaviors and doing anti-racist activism. Don't take on the mantle of savior because it is both patronizing to people of color and naive about the real character of racism and its multitudinous manifestations.

4) Avoid making assumptions about people of color and what they need as much as humanly possible. For one thing, people of color are not a gelatinous human blob of different flavored pudding all mixed together. Different groups have different struggles. Different individuals within groups have different struggles. Understanding the interplay of all of those differences is extraordinarily challenging to the point of straight up impossibility. People spend years studying a single group in ethnic studies departments and they STILL don't fully understand that ONE group they've been studying. Complexity like woooooaaaaahhhh!!! On the other hand, if you are wondering what people of color want and what they face there are tons of books and movies out there that can help you get a sense of what it means for some. If you are working on a specific community project, maybe it's a good idea to ask some people of color in your community.

5) Exoticising other cultures is not the same as understanding them or being anti-racist. You might notice that some of your ancestors also praised and enjoyed the cultures of non-white peoples. We now refer to those people as colonists. Please do not make references to Zen Buddhism or Native American legends or all the Salsa dancing lessons you have taken as though your knowledge of these things has made you one with the struggle. Chances are it hasn't done that anymore than Irish Step Dancing has made you REALLY understand the political situation in Ireland or what it means to be Irish American.

6) Guilt is a useless emotion unless it motivates you to act. And in my experience, guilt is usually not a very powerful motivator. Instead it often has a chilling effect that paralyzes people with doubt and self-pity. When I bring up my own experiences with racism in a conversation it is not because I am fishing for victim pity or that I want you to feel guilty. On the contrary, I want you to be angered by what I've experienced and what continues to happen in this country. I want you to be upset that the Martin Luther King Dream America that you were raised to believe i, does not yet exist. I want to build your drive to make this country a better place not just for me, or for people of color, but for all of us.

7) Be honest, especially with yourself. I remain undecided about when safe space is an important, valuable thing for disempowered groups and when it allows people to avoid the realities of our culture and their own opinions in a way that slows down progress. Within certain general playground guidelines such as don't call anyone a name and don't pull anyone's pig tails, I would always rather someone be honest with me if they disagree with what I'm saying or even if they just don't understand. Censoring yourself through the politically correct machine is sometimes about simple politeness, but it can also be about ignoring your real thought patterns and cultural practices. Michael Richards and Mel Gibson are not the only ones with racist thoughts, they're just dumb enough to have been caught saying them. Which brings me to another tip:

8) No you are not colorblind. Stop pretending like you are. Acting as though you don't see race is a slippery slope that often leads people to conclude that race does not exist. News flash, race still carries a heap of meaning and baggage in America. To act as though it doesn't is to ignore the daily realities that many people of color must face and to, again, obscure your own racist thoughts and actions.

If any of you guys have other suggestions that you can think of, go ahead and post them in the comments.

Eat, Skinny Girls, says NYC Subway Personnel. Skinny Girls say, How Dare You!

Just thought I would put my two cents in on this article making the rounds online in the usual places. But before I do that, why don't I go ahead and put up the articles that MSNBC seems to think goes very well with any of us interested in fainting women? And let's add some astute commentary, as well, shall we?


• Having a kid in the house makes you fatter (Next time, leave her on the subway.)
• FTC fines 4 diet pill makers for false claims (Claims to make you lose weight in ass, not brain.)
• Reading diet articles can be bad for girls (So don't read this one.)
• Fainting dieters delay NY subways (If you must diet, drive.)
• 9 healthy foods that may surprise you (I doubt it.)
• Bring on the wine, hold the trans fat (Drinking may impair scientific reasoning.)
• 1 in 3 low-income preschoolers obese (This is their biggest problem.)
• Universal Studios parks ban trans fats (Amusement park without churro = excellent place to avoid.)
• Hot broccoli: Thief gets $50,000 worth (This is for real. "Health" food sure is "hot" these days.)
• Is that holiday cookie 'splurge worthy'? (Hint: yes.)

Although I'm sure we're all a bit surprised that there are no links to Henry James stories or something, apparently we're all supposed to be up in arms about this article because it dares tell women how to eat and is super patronizing and all that. To which, you know, I say, just check out the other articles. One article in seventy hundred that tells women to eat enough food so that they don't PASS OUT ON THE SUBWAY (as opposed to the others, which are of the usual, "Lose weight, fattie!" variety) doesn't give me such a bad feeling in the long run. Sorry.

Here's a tip: if this story pissed you off more than other articles that are of the more "usual" variety, like, "Being Fat Causes Terrorism" and so forth, then maybe you should think about where your sympathies lie. Do you think it's unfair to tell thin women that they are "unhealthy" just as it is unfair to tell that to the "obese"? Or are you merely bristling from having the tables turned?

Breaking News: Having Sex is Normal

This news was released yesterday, a study about how commonly Americans engage in premarital sex:

"According to Finer's analysis, 99 percent of respondents have had sex by age 44, and 95 percent had done so before marriage.

Finer said the likelihood of Americans having sex before marriage has remained stable since the 1950s, though people now wait longer to get married and thus are sexually active as singles for extensive periods.

The study found women virtually as likely as men to engage in premarital sex, even those born decades ago. Among women born between 1950 and 1978, at least 91 percent had had premarital sex by age 30, he said, while among those born in the 1940s, 88 percent had done so by age 44."

I am loving this study. What evidence could be more clear that this country's bizarre attitude toward sexuality and sex education is completely out of whack? Premarital sex is RIDICULOUSLY COMMON. And yet a huge amount of people are terrified of addressing the issue and admitting that, horror of horrors, maybe having sex outside of the holy bonds of matrimony is TOTALLY normal and has been totally normal for DECADES.

I grew up in Utah where I both did not learn about evolution because my science teachers just didn't want to deal with the hysterical parents who were sure to call if they talked about it, and was given absitenence-only sex education. According to popular myth, she could not even utter the word condom without getting fired. And let me tell you, for all the hype I've heard recently with liberals getting livid over teaching kids creationism in public schools, I think one of these conservative teaching strategies had a much more detrimental impact on the student body. Can you guess which it was?

When they took our class picture at the end of Senior year, one of my classmates brought her tiny newborn baby to the picture with her. There was a giant parental uproar over that baby being in the picture and the school actually photoshopped the infant out of it for those who were upset enough to want a Senior photo with the truth removed. When I look at the picture now, the one that wasn't photoshopped, I think about the whole situation as an interesting microcosm of the schizoid relationship America has with sex. I mean, here is this girl who was brave enough to confront everyone by bringing her baby to the picture. I didn't know her, but I often think about the kind of guts it would have taken to do that, especially at my obnoxiously conservative, suburban school. Row upon row of the picture, with so many of my peers looking pretty, smiley, white-washed, inoffensive. Everyone was ready to project a certain image encapsulating what their high school experience was supposed to mean, but here was this girl who yes, had sex and yes, got pregnant, a situation which was probably not made any better by our terrible sex education. There's a quote from My So-Called Life where Angela is talking about how terrible the yearbook is, "Because if you made a book of what really happened, it'd be a really upsetting book." Which is a good summary of the difference between what actually happens in this country, what people actually do, and what people prefer to pretend goes on, especially when it comes to teenagers.

I am also loving the findings that women are just as likely to engage in premarital sex as men, although that fact has been curiously absent from a lot of the coverage I've seen. Looks like a whole lot of the people out there are liars and hypocrites! What's tragic is that since the 50's, women in this country have grown up feeling extremely isolated while grappling with what their sexuality means and how their choice to have sex supposedly reflects on their character, their womanhood, and their worth. We've been forced to find the information we need to make good choices on our own from a whole host of independent sources, ranging in quality from Our Bodies, Ourselves to gossip in the girl's bathroom. I like to think that with the internet becoming steadily more accessible it will be easier for women to find accurate information through Planned Parenthood and other feminist organizations, but it's hard to say.

And when I talk about good sex education, I don't mean just educating people about contraceptives, but educating them about a whole host of other issues that are crucial to having positive sexual experiences. We should be encouraging teenagers to think about what they want and learn how to communicate that. We should give them information about the diversity of sexual preferences and pleasure, and mainly just stop making people feel ashamed all the time about everything they do.

And as a radical feminist, it's not just about the fact that it's probably a good idea for any human being to learn about this stuff before they become sexually active. In my mind, it's also a crucial step in combatting sexism and the thriving sex industry. Call me naive, but I believe if people were given better opportunity to express their sexuality in healthy, positive ways, instead of constantly being told that their innate sexual impulses are dirty and forbidden, pornography and prostitution would lose much of its appeal. Over the course of her research for Love for Sale, the historical book I mentioned in an earlier post, Elizabeth Clement found that before dating became acceptable prostitution was hugely popular in America. But once women entered the workforce during the industrial revolution and were finally allowed to have more independence through dating, the popularity of prostitution plummeted. I believe we would see similar patterns today, if we could remove the stigma sexuality carries with it, especially women's sexuality, and admit how absolutely, bone-shakingly normal it is.