Saturday, June 24, 2006

Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me, Guess I'll Go Put On Some Cherry-Flavored Lip Gloss and Suck Dick

I've been having a busy few days. In no particular order, here's some things that have been bugging me lately in my small-minded, petty way:

1) The fact that more people like to spin their focus on how "dumb" Britney Spears is as opposed to how big of an asshole Matt Lauer is;
2) Why "size 36" men's shorts are considered to be "small" and yet are apparently bigger than the "large" version of that shorts for women, which is the very large size 14 at my local outlet department store;
3) And why is it that those shorts for men cost $25 and the women's cost $35;
4) And why the women's shorts don't have cargo pockets, when they are clearly needed;
5) The unfairness of having to spend my tip money buying khaki shorts for my new job;
6) And why I can't be on the blogosphere for more than thirty seconds before I'm accused of converting the young, impressionable minds who read this blog (all three of you) into becoming lesbians. I am also responsible for the downfall of feminism, and apparently don't want men (straight, I assume) to call themselves feminists or fight for feminist rights. No kidding, I thought that would take at least a month. I am totally flattered that my meanity has already been discussed and digested into such sweeping provocation. Be still, my heart.

If I were mean* or at least a masochist, I would point out some things I find perplexing or, at least, inconsistent, in this blogger's diatribe. But really, far be it for me to pass judgment on someone's rant in response to something I didn't actually say, which from what I gather, is something like, "Don't call yourself a feminist if you suck dick and like it." This might encourage more discussion on the topic of this sexual practice that I, for one, would like to avoid. It's becoming daunting entering certain comments' threads. Here's a tip: if you wouldn't tell your best friends the kind of details you tell to relative strangers on the internet, OMG, don't. My best friend and blogging partner, the mostly heterosexual Vicky Vengeance, doesn't even provide me with as much detail as I've read in this latest drama-fest. That's because we respect each other's gag reflexes, so to speak. Oh damn, look at me, talking about what I said I wasn't going to, making bad puns. Guess I AM a hypocrite.

But to answer one question: yes, celibates are uber-feminists. Particularly the uber-feminist ones. Next week, I'll tell you about how joining a convent is the most under-rated feminist choice of all time. I might link you some choice options.

*Meaner than I already am, anyway. Some people appear to be busily trying to one-up me in the mean department, which personally offends me, but politically makes me glad and feel like I may be on to something with this "mean feminism" movement, if it were something that I felt like I should make into a movement, which I don't.

19 Comments:

Blogger nectarine said...

yeah I stumbled on that post and thought it was really harsh, not to mention inconsistant and full of asumptions. Did you get my email by the way?

12:12 AM  
Blogger Edith said...

Nectarine, I think it might've gone into my spam folder or some such strangeness! I was wondering about that, though. I blame AOL. I'll go a-searching!

12:34 AM  
Blogger Phemisaurus Terribilis said...

The facts: 'men's' shorts come in more sizes, are cheaper and have more functionalities.

The conclusion: 'men's' shorts are better.

Recommendation: buy 'men's' shorts.

As someone who sussed this out a while back, I can assure you that you won't be left with unfilled trouser legs or find that you have more waists than 'men's' shorts can accomodate. In fact, the anatomical similarities between men and women are astounding. It's as if we all belonged to the same species.

12:53 AM  
Anonymous Amananata said...

Hi,
I'm 34 and I was already half a lesbian. (But which half? Mwah-ha-ha!)
I often buy men's clothes lately because - I am large/fat (pick the adjective of your choice) and frequently the women's section doesn't have any clothes to fit me, or the clothes they have in my size comprise about 10% of the stores actual offerings and are off in a different section huidden behind everything else (because no one wants to see fat women shopping) and when you get there all the really neat looking clothes you saw on the way while walking through the "normal-sized" women's section have been replaced by shapeless sweatshirts with cutesy animals, rhinestones, and glitter, because us fat chicks don't want to dress nicely, nope, not ever. So since they don't have any nice clothes for me, I figure heck, why not try the men's section? And you know - the men's section frequently includes sizes 3x in with THEIR REGULAR CLOTHING! Sometimes even 4X! In the same style as the smaller sized clothing they have! No "big" section or "fat" section. I know there is such athing as a big and tall store, but it seems to be reserved for the truly rare sized - in all my life, I've only known one person who actually had to shop at one of those, and even then he could get some of his clothing at a regular store. Compare that to how many women I know who have to shop in special "fat lady" stores.
Plus men's clothes are more uselful and comfortable and also better made.

7:00 AM  
Blogger spotted elephant said...

Wow, Edith. I learned so much about you from reading that post. I didn't know you were sizist! I'm fat, so I guess we can't be friends anymore. :(

Why can't people read what is written instead of skimming and coming away with a different idea of what was said? I'm really, really sick of this.

9:43 AM  
Blogger spotted elephant said...

The lies about what you said, and the condescending tone at elisenator's blog were bad enough. But I just can't stop being pissed at this:

"I don't really think that being frumpy is bad."

Well holy fucking shithole, thanks for affirming that my appearance isn't bad! The judgmental term frumpy might have made me think she was looking down her nose at my appearance, but since she doesn't "really" think it's bad, I'm so relieved.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous bigotesse said...

Don't worry Edith. There are others who love you.I find it truly amazing that someone in science thinks that just because she has a vagina, she is a feminist. Feminism has a history and it is not about internalizing male concepts and pretending to be equal because wow she is a scientist. I could not believe her post.Most of us have to work on exorcising the shit we were taught to believe in school. Emotional diarrhea does not make one a feminist. How is that for being mean and bigoted? I for one am intolerant of stupidity.By stupidity I mean those who have a brain and choose not to use it, especially those who claim a university education.

11:47 AM  
Blogger nectarine said...

Edith
Shall i send it again?

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"2) Why "size 36" men's shorts are considered to be "small" and yet are apparently bigger than the "large" version of that shorts for women, which is the very large size 14 at my local outlet department store;"

I can't say for sure why, but in general men are built different and a bit larger.

"3) And why is it that those shorts for men cost $25 and the women's cost $35;"

Well, in an open market what people will pay for something is what it's "worth."

"4) And why the women's shorts don't have cargo pockets, when they are clearly needed;"

For this and the prior two points, why not just forget that the store calls them men's or women's and buy the ones you want? In other words, buy an extra small men's or even a boy's size with the pockets and lower price that you actually want rather than spending more on what you don't want.

"5) The unfairness of having to spend my tip money buying khaki shorts for my new job;"

Yes...that stinks, but is anyone forcing you to work at a company that has such a rule? Did you know that going in? Do the men have to do it too?

I don't know, I have no problem wearing "men's" things if they are cheaper, better made, or fit me all right. I've certainly done it with shoes and other clothing articles. Perhaps it won't seem so bad if you can spend less than you thought - I saw some nice "male" cargo shorts at ebay for only five dollars; in both kids' and adult sizes. Why limit yourself to the women's section of only a local store?

8:35 AM  
Blogger lost clown said...

Ok everyone on the blogosphere now repeat after me "I will read and comprehend what the author is saying and refrain from responding until I am sure that I fully understood the post. If I have poor reading comprehension I will refrain from commenting/posting."

Thank you. *sheesh* Edith you're horrible :p

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I'm not a blogger, and I have no knowledge of the interpersonal stuff the rest of the post was about; I was only commenting on that part of it. I have no reason to think edith or anyone else is horrible; I came on the site through several loosely related links while browsing.

But if such comments are unwelcome then I won't return to bother you again.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Vicky Vengeance said...

Anonymous,

How do you think Edith figured out the difference in men's and women's shorts if she wasn't looking through both sections when she was choosing what to buy? I think she knows that it is acceptable to be really, you know, PUNK ROCK and buy from the men's side. The point is, she shouldn't have to look in both sections to find shorts that fit her and are cheap and have pockets for Christ's sake.

"I can't say for sure why, but in general men are built different and a bit larger." Hmmm. Maybe if you can't say for sure why, you shouldn't comment.

Indeed, it is an open market. An open sexist market controlled by sexist corporations and businesses that often purposely set prices so that women have to pay way more for things than men do all the time or pay for things period that they shouldn't have to like tampons and bras and makeup and . . . well the list goes on and on.

"Yes...that stinks, but is anyone forcing you to work at a company that has such a rule? Did you know that going in? Do the men have to do it too?"
Haven't you ever heard anyone bitch about the lame thing they have to do for their stupid fucking job before? Ever?! I love the "is anyone forcing you to work there?" argument. As though it's really super relevant if someone has a gun to her head screaming "YOU MUST WORK AT PIZZA HUT SLAVE!!!" You have no idea what Edith's economic situation is or why she took the job she did. NO IDEA! Having to buy cargo shorts is the perfect example of something that's not annoying enough to want to quit over, duh, but it's still really fucking annoying.

Thank you, Lost Clown. Where are all these asshats coming from anyway?

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well. I see that she wasn't kidding in the title of the site heh. ;) Don't worry, this "asshat" isn't "coming from" anywhere to bug you or try and start anything - jeez. I'll just close the tab now and it's highly unlikely I'd end up here again just through browsing anyway. So beat up on whoever in the "blogosphere" you're mad at and have fun with it.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous roozen said...

This blog is very insightful and fucking hilarious! My only complaint is that you don't write more often :)

6:28 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

BREATHE AGAIN EDITH, for ANONYMOUS GRANTS YOU PERMISSION TO BE MAD AT PEOPLE!

Glee!

Passing without comment over everything else you've said here, A, that was really fuckin condescending.

3:21 PM  
Anonymous noname said...

"An open sexist market controlled by sexist corporations and businesses that often purposely set prices so that women have to pay way more for things than men do all the time or pay for things period that they shouldn't have to like tampons and bras and makeup" - Vicky V

Do you really think bras, tampons, and make-up should be free? Why?

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Katie said...

Makeup I can see as being something that "shouldn't exist."
But hey, bras are CONVENIENT if you have big breasts and want to run like your human peers (male & female) who don't.
If I lived in a forest 10,000 years ago, I'd probably invent a bra for my huntin'. ;-)

5:13 PM  
Blogger Alessandra said...

bras are ok but ireally don't get tampos..they're so uncomfortable! as for make-up, lots of people think im prettier without them, especially this really sweet guy from webdate dot com who suggested to wipe all that goo off my face coz im already beautiful without it.

3:12 AM  
Blogger Chibi_Hannah_Chan said...

Exactly! Why do I have to pay more money for less fabric? Why?

Also, you haven't made me a lesbian (may be your not trying hard enough), I can't speak for the other two.

5:00 PM  

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